I WILL GET THERE

Do you love me  ????

I'm the girl who might not be in touch with her emotions and I wouldn't have it any other way. I stopped allowing myself to be moved and guess what, its not working any more !!!! Or maybe it did not.  But at some point something changed. I stopped talking about it and eventually it didn't affect me anymore or maybe I pretend not to feel anything.

 As i typed this, I pondered if this could be true. I think of all the people I have loved, when I have said I love you, did I mean it ??? I think of the people I have lost, could I be wrong in doing so ??? I think of the people I promised forever, does it really work ???

I will let that sink in for a moment .

It seems everyone has that fear, we all want to feel safe , the promise from someone else that we will be, feel the comfort of being loved. I see how people react to feeling unsafe, hurt and anger and wish I had those emotional outlets.The best lesson in life is that through pain, through tears, through hurt, there is Love. And if I can believe my love for others exists, I should be able to believe that always and forever exist.

When I can't find the words, I look for someone else's. Poetry, songs, well put words that make your heart bump ..... Ironically, they end up taking me to that place.

The answer is YES !!! I have heard a few I Love yous and said a few I Love yous. They feel right I'm sure of it. I feel that I should tell it to the world that there are those people who love me, who show up and remind me I am worthy and I deserve love and support. Part of me feels like I do not deserve it, there pieces of us that aren't pretty but are part of us. Sometimes its hard to love yourself.

This is what I want for me, I want to be there, I'm not sure am there yet, but I will get there ......................

Here goes ....

Ivanress